Why You Should Wreck Your Comfortable Life

  Seeing as I last wrote on contentment, this may seem somewhat confusing or contradicting. But I believe we as Christians need to learn the difference/ have a good balance between being content, and being comfortable.  Let me just put it straight out there: we are not called to live comfortable lives.

I struggle with this daily, so please note that I'm writing to myself just as much as I am you here.

It's so easy to let ourselves slip into our familiar little routines that we make our lives, and before we know it we're trying to look back on the great things we've done and as we desperately search through our memory for inspiring stories...we're left with blank pages. We begin thinking back to those ordinary days and what possible potential they had to be amazing if we had just, made them. Or maybe those terrifying moments when we felt a strange "tug" to do something completely weird or say something nice to the stranger in Walmart. When we knew it was God whispering, "do it" but we let our "busyness" or flesh and fear crowd our minds instead. Seriously, like, some of my biggest fears. I'm not extroverted or naturally good with people, whatsoever. But that doesn't mean that I should hide in fear and sit back, useless to Christ. Fear is just one of Satan's tactics. I'm sure he's delighted when he sees us use "being shy" as an excuse to pray for someone or ask them about their faith. Or offer them help in a situation.

{ For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. // 2 Timothy 1:7 }

We are here to make disciples, and our everyday actions and words should be strives towards that. But gosh it is just so darn easy to forget our purpose here. In the midst of the chaos and the stress, and even in the really good times. We forget why we're here and what we're even doing and who we're doing it for.

To me, living a comfortable life is losing sight of our Creator and His purpose for us and subtly living with our own interests in mind. We begin to think without even noticing, "well what about me?" and we begin to make lame excuses for our laziness or fears. Living uncomfortably is living in sacrifice. It's saying "yes". To the family member or friend that asks for a last minute babysitter or the woman that just had a baby, or the couple that just adopted. Or the family with multiple children with special needs, that is simply exhausted. Or the man that just lost his job. Or the new kids in town that have nobody. The little things that we make "plans" to miss or simply overlook sometimes. We should be so rid of ourselves that we are willing to step out of our comfort zones and lay everything down for whatever scenario and whatever people need us. Even if we can't stand them. It's laying down our wants and desires and seeking it from others. It's including and welcoming those we would rather ignore. We are to be set apart as lights in this dark, dark world. We should model after Christ in every single thing we do. He never put himself first. He never abandoned His friends and He loved the least of these. I highly doubt He was ever "comfortable" in His time spent on earth. We're of little to no use to Him when we are in our comfort zones.

{ But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. // James 1:22 }

And for that, being comfortable scares me. Stepping out scares me. But I'd sure as heck spend my days crushing my fears for greater things, than hiding back in my comfy little life of later regret. Being comfortable scares me because, once you do step out, you wonder how you could possibly have waited this long to do so. And you start to see things so differently. You know that once you let yourself slip back into your comfortable life, you'll slowly forget the feeling and the purpose and before you know it, you're the center of your story again. So let's help each other step out. I'm tired of living comfortably.

C O N T E N T M E N T

Contentment.

I don't know about you, but that is one of the scariest words for me. Probably because it's one of my biggest stumbling blocks. Learning to be content is a constant process. So many of us base our happiness off of current circumstances. That's where we fall.

And I'm speaking of myself here too. Like I said, this is something I struggle with on a daily basis.

As I've been guilty of this very doing myself, I know several people who demonstrate the same. Like for instance, and I see this happen all the time, "life" can be just miserable and downing for someone until they meet someone or enter a relationship and now all the sudden life is fantastic! The problem with this is, one day that person is no longer going to be there or they're going to let you down in some way or another (because we're human and it happens). And then what? Do you go back to being miserable? It's difficult, but we can't build so much up into someone because we are basing our happiness on them and like stated, humans are messy and sinful and we screw up. We simply cannot put our emotions in the hands of anything or anyone, except God. He can't screw up. He will never let us down. He will never leave us. He is perfect in every way, and He freaking adores us. Why not pursue someone that so passionately pursues you back?

Being said, He has each of us where we are, when we are, for a reason. This is the thing I've been trying so desperately to get. As well as trust. Faith. Faith in the Lord and trust that He knows what He's doing, and He wouldn't waste our time here on earth. I'm pretty sure just about everyone knows Jeremiah 29:11, yes?  He has plans for us! Plans to prosper and not to harm us. Therefore, we just have to learn to be content with where we are. Wherever that may be. Accept it and give it our all. {Colossians 3:23}

Our joy should come from the Lord. Happiness is temporary. Joy is everlasting. It's deep. It's the little smile we can somehow make, even when we're in the darkest storm. It's knowing that life is indeed good, in-spite of the current circumstances. 


I often find myself thinking, "man if I just had someone like that in my life.." or "if I could just get that I'd be totally fine" but no. Things of this earth are temporary. Sure, it'll make us feel good for the time being. Or yeah okay, having a boyfriend or girlfriend may make us forget about our problems for a little, or make us feel good about ourselves but eventually that relationship is going to end (especially if you're in high school, just the way it is) most likely. Or that person will hurt us in sooome way and now all of our discontentment and unsettled issues come crawling back. We HAVE to learn contentment and completion in Christ before we can pursue anyone or anything. My mom always told me otherwise whenever someone would use the common expression "you complete me" or "you're my other half, I'm nothing without you!"  That you cannot rely on another human being to "complete" you. She's the one that taught me that only Jesus can do so.

Simply put, if you're not happy with yourself right now, you won't be happy when you're with someone else. Trust me, I'm still working on grasping that. I'm still on the pursuit of happiness joy.

{ U G A N D A }

We landed in Entebbe, Uganda on July 7th, at midnight. Exhausted from over 23 hours of traveling, the seven of us stood in a massive line to get our visas, but we were just plain happy to finally be there. The airport was small and there was no a/c, but the weather outside gave a nice breeze. Once we all made it through and collected our seventeen suitcases of donated supplies (incredible!!), we were greeted by Tyler Workman (director of Okoa Refuge, along with his wife Liv). He helped pile all our luggage on his van and somehow drove us through the bumpy dirt roads in the middle of the night.

We arrived at a little hotel for the night. That morning, we all ate breakfast there together, then ventured out for the three hour drive to what would be our new home for the next two weeks.

We pulled into the compound and were welcomed by the beloved guard dog, Monster. Among Liv, Chauntel and Olivia (the super awesome interns) and the Workman kids Shamilah, Gideon, Judah, and Bear. After getting settled in a bit, we began unpacking all the donations and organizing them while waiting for lunch to arrive. After we ate a great lunch of samosas and fruit salad, Tyler and Liv went through a quick orientation with us and then we were left with about an hour of "free time" to which I really wished to take a nap but I couldn't, probably due to the excitement of it all. So a few of us sat and talked until it was time to head to Okoa (the orphanage) for dinner. A couple of us went inside the baby house first, where we met Kelsey, one of the great staff members/missionaries of Okoa, whilst loving on adorable chubby Ugandan babies.

We hung out with all the kids for a couple hours, and ate an amazing meal thanks to chef Basa.


The next morning came early, and we ate breakfast (thanks Chauntel) and did devotions with everyone before heading out to our first service project. There was a single mother of five children, whom lived in a small mud house. We were there to help patch up some of the mud that had washed away due to rain, and clean up the house a little, while some of us washed their laundry for them. I had no idea what to expect. Everyone jumped in right away, each person had a job. I was helping some of the girls with laundry. I was kneeling down in the semi-tall grass, in the direct sunlight, surrounded by different strong aromas,  and it was humbling. God immediately tore down every potential  prideful or selfish thought that would otherwise enter my mind. Instead, we were all laughing and smiling while ringing out these worn clothing. We even started singing while we were scrubbing down their bed frame. And in those moments is when I realized, this. This, is what it's all about. This, is what we're suppose to be doing. This, is what following Christ looks like. This, is what joy looks like. Serving, not because we're nice people, but because it's what Jesus calls us to do, and what He did do in His time on earth. We are just here to obey and be used as vessels to the Body of Christ. We should take no "credit" for any of it. We're simply doing our job. After doing laundry and cleaning some of their furniture, a few of us went walking around the village to meet people and just talk to them about Jesus. We met several great people, most of whom already claimed to be saved. We invited them to church that upcoming Sunday at Okoa. We asked if there was anything we could pray for, for them. We even got into some good discussions and tried our best to answer good questions, with the help of our great translators. It was a really neat experience, especially since I am terrified at evangelizing because I'm so introverted/shy. Boy was this trip going to wreck that! In the days to come, I was constantly stretched and challenged in several different ways. Learning to get over my fear of talking/sharing the Gospel, getting dirty (from head to toe- literally), being independent without my family or comforts of home in any way, learning the vastly different culture, all while being convicted daily and making self-realizations continually.  Through our daily devotions and projects, I was often hit with guilt or "light bulbs" so to speak. Like wow, I definitely need to work on this, or man, I have been so self-focused all this time. Especially working with some of the Okoa kids on the last day of building. We had built two mud kitchens, and this was our second and final day working on a four bedroom mud house for a family that had lost their house previously. The kids were out of school that day, so we took the older ones with us to help finish mudding. They jumped right in with huge smiles, and we got SO much done in just a few hours. Sure, it was an exhausting day, but to see these kids so joyously giving and hard-working. It reminded me I have absolutely no reason to complain. And how to have actual fun while working. They're definitely good at that. And mud fights. Those too.

Another great humbling experience, was our "salon day" we hosted at the community center for the local women. Most of the girls treated hair, while a couple of us gave manicures/pedicures. I spent that morning and afternoon sitting on the floor, painting toe nails and finger nails. They are surprisingly slightly picky! But they were all extremely grateful afterwords. It awesome to be able to pamper most of which were moms, making them feel special and beautiful, knowing how much manual labor is part of their day and how hard they work to care for their families. It was a privilege. We also got to talk to a lot of them at the end of the day, about Christ and how much He loves them. We went around praying for them and whatever their needs might have been at the time. I also got to learn the art of sweeping, the Ugandan way.

Towards the end of our trip, on a Saturday, we were able to hang out at Okoa all day and throw the "birthday month" kids a party. We celebrated all the kids that were born in July, by playing/teaching games, eating cake, and having a big dance/glow stick party! We had brought over a ton of glowsticks and balloons and broke them out that night, hooked up some music to a little speaker, and jammed for hours. They were SO happy. It was a huge hit, and I loved seeing their giant smiles out dancing with their glowsticks waving in the air. I eventually got pulled out to dance too, and I had a blast with them that night. Man do those kids have rhythm! Much more than I do..

On Monday night, we spent our last evening at Okoa, of which ended with several goodbye songs/dances performed by the adorable kids. That day, half the team was sobbing through out the day, just knowing it was our last day in beloved Masaka. It never hit me until that night, when we were sitting on the benches watching them sing for us, and I noticed a couple of them wiping tears from their eyes. Thaaat's when I lost it. I was watching these precious children struggle to get the words out to the songs, whilst sobbing. Just because we were leaving, and they knew it. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to hold them in my arms and just cry with them. And comfort them with the fact that I adore each and every one of them and will never, ever forget them. That was a late night of tears and hugs, and some exchanging of letters.



Tuesday morning was amongst us, and we spent our last morning together eating breakfast, and having a quick "debriefing" with Tyler and Liv, and the interns. It was good. More goodbyes and hugs were given, and we piled in the van one more time to drive to Entebbe. We stopped at the Equator for lunch, (which was uber cool, we got to eat on drums!) and souvenir shopping. Tyler and Chauntel hung with us for a couple hours at a gorgeous hotel right by the airport, and ate dinner with us before our flight that night. It was bittersweet, the whole day, but I would be lying if I didn't say I was somewhat excited about going home and seeing my family... Though now that I've been back for a few weeks, I am dying to be in Uganda again. The internal pollution of society here is gut wrenching. We are so self-focused here it's sickening. I saw things that I can never unsee, there are events and experiences burned in my mind and I can't forget them. My entire mindset has changed and I can't go back. Nor do I want to. If it was up to me, I'd say everyone should go to a third world country at least once in their lifetime. Observing the hard-working, selfless, grateful, passionate culture is astonishing. This world is not about us. This life is not about us.

IT IS NOT ABOUT US

    Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age. // Matthew 28:19-20
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 And he said to them, "Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation." // Mark 16:15

Fed Up.

Lately, I've really become rather irked by this world in all of it's broad corruption. I am not implying in any way that I am even remotely close to being perfect. I simply suppose that I am now beginning to see the things and people on this earth, for what they really are. A lovely side-affect of growing up.  Though I detest the "sheltered homechooler" label, I have to vouch for some truth to that. I look at kids in elementary school today, throwing cuss words around and indulging in silly little "relationships", etc. When I didn't even know what cuss words were until I was like.. eleven. With that being said, I guess I'm just now coming to this realization. The sad realization that this world we live in and the people here are well..just that. Sad. Everyday I discover some grand "new" darkness and it nudges me closer and closer to the edge each time. It honestly terrifies me. That this is what we are to live in. This gigantic pool of sin. And almost everyone wants to jump in for a swim. Even some of the friends in my life that I always viewed as Christians bring shock and discouragement to me when I hear the way they talk or see the things they post on instagram. Now like I said, nobody is perfect. But how are we to stand out and be set apart as followers of Christ if we flow right along with the rest of them? Despite our constant mistakes and obstacles, we should be continually striving to be different for Him. Different because we'll portray this pure light, that should be so evident in our everyday lives. Yes, that includes our instagrams and twitters too- which is something I myself need to work on as well. We all do guys. Come on. I've learned the hard way, that living to obtain society's approval only gets you caught in a dark storm. Jesus is the ultimate way to go man. Though it's not always- okay scratch that. It's about always, the hardest thing to do, because we're human and our sinful flesh craves exactly that: sin. But I pinky swear to you (I never brake those) that it will be worth it. I have never once regretted a decision I made, when I knew it was what God wanted me to do. It is pretty much always going to be tough in the beginning, but all good things take time and effort. Anyone can choose the fun, sinful route. Cause sin is fun, let's face it. But only for a short time that is. So let's go against the current and take the ambitious route instead. Please... I hate traveling alone. It's quite exhausting and lonesome. So please join me? Pretty please?


Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. // Romans 12:2

I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world. // John 17:15-18

Since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” // 1 Peter 1:16 

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. // 2 Corinthians 5:17 

If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. // John 15:19

Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. // 1 Peter 5:8

Moving On

The all-known, beloved song Let It Go comes to mind as I write this. In fact, I'm not quite sure what I am writing exactly. It's just one of those times I felt I should blog about a certain subject, and so, bare with me as I do so. This whole post may just end up being a long ramble of confusion. I will do my best to clear my head and type it out accurately.

Lately, and when I say lately, I mean like a while. About a few months ago really. I knew I had to move on. There was this thing in my life, an overall good thing, but it began to hold me back in ways. Important ways. I noticed I was drifting from my relationship with Christ, lacking in household chores, school even. I wasn't achieving the things I knew I was capable of. I knew that God was sending me signs to leave this "thing" and move forward. To close this chapter of my book but you see, that was just so hard to do. To walk away from what you may think is the best chapter of the book you're reading, well, that would just be excruciating, right?? I couldn't do it. I kept ignoring the signs and continued through the motions. I stayed in my comfy, mediocre little life. Did the same things, day in, day out. Until finally, I simply couldn't take it anymore. I took the bold approach, and said farewell to this so called "thing". No more. Adios. I have bigger and better things awaiting me. And I cannot wait to see what God holds for my future! I know it is still a process, and it won't be an easy one, but I'm willing. And if you're willing, my friend, God can do some amazing things with you. You just have to realize sometimes, that there is a time for everything. That chapters do indeed end, but the book still goes on. Let Jesus write yours! I can't wait to read your extraordinary story. We all have one. But you wouldn't want yours to be stuck on the same old chapter. People come in and out of our lives. For a reason, surely. All good things come to an end. Just in time for the new good thing to begin! So try not to get stuck in a chapter. Keep moving forward, my dear. And never look back.

{I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus} ~ Philippians 3:14

This Is My Life.

I am fourteen years old. I don't go to parties, I don't spend every day hanging out with my friends, I don't gossip or fan-girl over boy bands, I don't even go to school. No, instead, my day consists of changing diapers, bathing, feeding, wiping pb&j covered mouths, washing dishes, folding laundry, taking off leg braces and shoes, filling sippy cups, loading diaper bags, buckling carseats, and tucking kids in bed. And I'm okay with that. Really.

....okay maybe not. At least not allll the time. There are some moments when I start to listen to my flesh, whispering things like "this isn't fair", "nobody else my age is doing this right now", "I didn't ask for this", "why me??" To which I have to ignore and tell myself, "This is where God has you right now. This is you taking up your cross, Genesis. This is more."

But that's not always easy. Sometimes I want to throw a temper tantrum like a three year old. Sometimes I want to go sit on my best friends' bed and talk all night like a "normal" teenager, instead of wiping butts on the toilet after dinner. Sometimes I just want to lock myself in a closet quite honestly. And that's just my selfish, sinful being. Because after all, who even created the typical teen status? The world. I can tell you, in Bible times, they worked all day long for their families, and might have already been married by my age! These are the things I have to remember. Because, I am certainly nowhere near perfect. I'd like to imagine myself as this modern day Snow White, where I absolutely love my life and everything in it (and I do, don't get me wrong) and I better the world and every living thing loves me. Buuuuut no. I'm just me. The fourteen year old girl, living in a house full of seven little boys, who discuss poop and boogers at the dinner table (actually no, all day), some whom hit their heads and yell, keep their hands in their mouths 24/7, and are super duper stubborn.

This is my life. Whether I choose to hate it, or embrace it, is up to me. I am currently on the road to embrace. Even if that means trashing my "sunshine and rainbows" facebook reputation. Dang it...

We Are Worthless

I am pretty certain every human being has some sort of insecurity, about something in some area of themselves. Whether that be their outward appearance, their abilities, their family, the amount of friends they have, the way they talk even. Even the most confident person is bound to be just a little self-conscious about something. This is a big issue today. Especially among young people. Even if you've never been bullied before, or put down for any particular reason. A lot of times we just look at others, and if we don't have exactly what they have, act like they act, look like they do, we can so quickly put ourselves down and assume there's something wrong with us because we're simply different.

"Comparison is the thief of joy." - Theodore Roosevelt 

This is right on. And as humans, it's natural to compare ourselves to others. It's another part of our sinful nature. Sometimes, we don't even realize when we are actually comparing ourselves. It can become a nasty habit. Like biting your nails. (guilty) 

I'm going to be brutally honest with you. I am one of the most guilty of it all. Comparison, insecurities, the absence of self-worth. I am probably one of the most insecure people you will meet. Though I might be good at hiding it, underneath I have all the lies running continuously through my head. I don't think it really hit me until I was around 12 or 13. When I began to realize how I don't have nice smooth and tan skin, or the "perfect" weight of what seemed to be every other girl around me. It wasn't even magazines or commercials that I was comparing myself to! It was every day average, real people. Soon, I started looking at everyone else' talents and abilities, and yep, you guessed it. Comparing. I saw other girls that could write songs and poetry, and sing incredibly, or had crazy good baking skills, or were super artistic. All great qualities that I only dream of acquiring. Sounds rather selfish doesn't it? I of course began putting myself down, giving into the enemy's lies. Believing that I was indeed worthless, useless, invaluable, unimportant, and at times, invisible. I could read whatever Bible verses I wanted, listen to whatever songs on the Joy FM, accept whatever compliments and advice from friends and yet NOTHING could change the way I felt about myself. And that's just it. It's a battle against ourselves. WE are the ones hindering the happiness and peace we could and should be feeling towards ourselves. Not because of what we achieve, but what Christ has achieved. What HE did for us. Because truly, without Him we are nothing. We have nothing. God is the one who created us, molded us into our very being. And surely, the creator of the universe makes no mistakes. Therefore, when we put ourselves down, we're really insulting God's work. He gave us the gifts and abilities that He so desired, and knew we would need. He gave us the color hair we have, the skin tone, the bone structure we have. Everything. We are fearfully, and wonderfully made. 

One of my favorite verses is Psalm 45:11 ~ "Let the king be enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord." 


The king is enthralled by our beauty! God, nothing but perfect, is captivated by OUR beauty. Just let that sink in for a minute. 


And yet, who are we to call ourselves beautiful? We played no part in our creation. Therefore, we owe it all to Him. Yes, we are ARE worthless, useless, and unimportant on our own. But with Christ, we find our purpose, and our value. Or more so, His value. We are only here to shine His light and let others see HIM. It's not about us. Though I may never be comfortable in my own skin, I remember by whom I was made, and by whom I am loved. And the ultimate reason for my life. Not to look around at everyone else' arms, to than look down at mine with disgust, because they're not as tiny. Or to see myself in the mirror and become angry. Or to wish I could play the piano as well as that one friend. No. Society tells us to do so, and to feel that way. As does Satin. Every day is a constant battle. But we must decrease, so that Christ can increase. And it is in that very doing, that we find our true beauty.